today's update

Today has been pretty laid back. We skipped a museum tour to sleep late since tummies were still iffy. We actually saw a bluish sky out the window today WITH white clouds. It is hard to explain how much different that makes things feel.

As I walk down the street, I'm starting to see more differences in people's faces than I did at first. Some of the faces look more Mongolian, some look more Polynesian, etc. It seems like many of the people who are in service positions (garbage collectors, street cleaners) have a very angular, bony look to their faces. They also seem smaller and darker. Some of the people are very tall, over six feet. There are skinny people and heavy ones. White faces and brown ones. Some of the women are breathtakingly beautiful, and some of the men are ruggedly handsome. I have heard there are over 50 different races within China, and I would love to study the history behind what I am starting to see.

I'm going to see if our guides will tell us which ethnic group Moses looks like to them. Most of China is Han Chinese, but I can't tell if that is his heritage. People in restaurants will make a big fuss over him being especially cute, and of course we think he is precious. But I also feel sort of like they are seeing something cultural that I can't understand.

This morning, I was reading Psalm 131 before everyone woke up. Becuase this process has been so overwhelming (OK, let's be honest... terrifying), I have read this passage over and over again for many months.

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul witin me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore.

It was interesting reading it once more post-Moses. We take it for granted that a child trusts his/her parents. We assume that a baby will be comforted when the parent is near. But watching these adoptive families interact with their new children has shown me a different side to things.

Some of them have rejected their new fathers. (Perhaps they have never seen a man before.) Some of the babies have rejected their new mothers. (Possibly, they have never seen a Western face before.) Our family's situation is not necessarily normal, because Moses just bonded with all of us so fast. Many of the other families are having to take slow, cautious steps toward building trust with their little ones.

Still, as the days pass, Moses' trust grows too. When nap time came today, Moses didn't want to lie in his bed, and I was exhausted. So, I pulled him into bed with me, and he snuggled down like a little bear cub. (He LOVES to snuggle, which is not always the case with institutionalized kids.) As we were lying there, he took his little hand and started exploring my face like a 4-5 month old baby. Moms will know what I'm talking about. Remember how newborns reach up and pinch and poke around on your face, as if they are trying to memorize it? That's what he was doing. Then he reached out for my hair and felt of the curls and tickled his nose with them. It was super cute, watching him catch up on that step he missed as an infant. I could tell something important was happening for him.

(BTW, He did the same thing with Bobby today. He crawled up in his lap and felt his whiskery cheeks, pulled on his nose, and seemed to be studying how everything worked.)

When Moses finally fell asleep, he took a deep breath and just melted into my shoulder. Like a weaned child with his mother. Knowing us better. Trusting us more.

It made me wonder how much easier trusting God would be if we took time to memorize what He's like. Being adopted makes everything new, and so trust does not come easy at first. It was good to learn from Moses how vital a step learning someone is.

Today is our last day in Zhengzhou. Tomorrow we fly to Guangzhou to wait for our consulate appointment. We're super excited to hang out with a good friend from Singapore during that visit. And it will be nice to just have some rest after all of the paperwork.

PLEASE pray for an easy, safe flight. Airplanes are still not fun experiences for me.

Including photos of Moses napping and exploring a pack of Oreos we found. Some things must just be universal.

mcb  – (July 22, 2010 at 10:37 AM)  

Great to be able to follow this! Your reference to Psalm 131 made me think of a song by Lori Chaffer of Waterdeep. I couldn't find a link to the song, so here's the link to the album on Itunes if you can listen and download it. It is, of course, the last track Psalm 131. Give it a listen, i bet you'll like it.

~matt (Ballard)

Amy  – (July 22, 2010 at 12:44 PM)  

What a beautiful insight on trusting!
And LOVE the Oreo pictures!!! That needs to be a commercial!
Love to you all!
The Corrigans
PS The museum wouldn't have compared to the extra sleep! Doug was bored to tears! ;)
Only one 'highlight', and I can't post what that was for all eyes ;) LOL

Robin White –   – (July 30, 2010 at 5:32 AM)  

Wonderful photos of Oreos! I'm going to show Autumn, who loves Oreos more than any other person I know, and she'll feel like she has a kindred spirit in Moses!:) We love you guys and are praying for you. Reliving some of my life experiences overseas through your insights, ie flying in storms, crowded cities, taxis, smells, food availability. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing these thoughts of your heart; they are treasures.

Robin White –   – (July 30, 2010 at 5:35 AM)  

Your scripture choice is perfect for you during this time. I've thought of it many, many times, and have sung it to myself and my children as they're going to bed.

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About This Blog

Welcome to our family’s adoption journey. As you read, you will see us stumble and take wrong paths. You will see our hopes surge and fall. You will see the gaps in our humanity, and how our God realigns us to His purposes over and again. We think the messiness of this process is important. Sometimes walking with God isn’t a neat, linear package that can be summarized in bullet points. More often, life ebbs and flows around our plans, while God works His sovereign wonders from it all. We are learning so much through this journey. And we are super excited about our new son. If you’d like to join us, we’d love to have you along for the ride.

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