coming into color, coming into 3D

Ahh sleep! We feel SO much better this morning!

Yesterday was rough. Scratch flying into the remnants of a tropical storm from the list things I ever want to do again. However, it was breathtakingly beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

From the plane window, we got to watch lightning slicing down from above our plane, piercing through layer after layer of indigo, woolen clouds. We saw the sun set through a little hole in a sky that surrounded by a tunnel of blackness. JD used the word "otherworldly" to describe it, and he said it was too beautiful to be frightened after the first bolt of light. Clara loved it and wants to be a stewardess. Moses was thrilled people brought him food, then he slept. I shut my eyes, prayed like crazy, and buried my face in Moses' blanket.

From looking at the weather channel, our flight should have been a LOT rougher than it was. There's an Army commander in our adoption group who has served in Iraq and Afghanistan. He has been trained for combat flights that drop and spin like crazy to avoid enemy fire, and he took Dramamine yesterday, because he was afraid we were going to have an awful flight through the storm. It wasn't smooth. But it wasn't awful. I kept praying God would open up a little hole in the storm for us to fly through, and I think He did.

It's interesting, because the night before we flew, I finally sat in the bathroom and cried. Those of you who know me know that dentists, storms, and planes are my biggest fears. Walking my children into two of the three at once just put me over the edge. I was totally terrified, second guessing myself, trying to figure out if I had been foolish to walk into such craziness. It was one of those moments where I hit, "What am I DOING with children on the other side of the world, flying into a tropical storm?"

If you don't fear flying, this might not make sense. But I was literally at the point where I was telling God that I physically could NOT get onto that plane if He didn't help me. And I meant it. This was something I just wasn't able to do. But as we researched possible alternatives, we realized there was no other way around it.

There was a really long delay when we finally boarded. Sitting in a cramped plane, watching the wind and rain blow, dreading flying isn't the best balm for fear. Finally, I pulled out one of my favorite little books (thanks, Celeste), _The Gospel Primer_. Over and again, verses about spiritual adoption and the cost of our redemption were referenced. It was suddenly like someone had printed the Bible in 3D.

God sent His son into danger. He intentionally sent Him into the worst storm imaginable. He sent Him into layer after layer of darkness and chaos so that we could be adopted as His sons and daughters. That was the cost of my adoption and yours. There was no other way around it.

Sitting on that plane, trembling, looking at my family, fearing for them, that sacrifice suddenly came into color. I can't understand what it felt like for God to send His Son to earth, or how His great heart grieved. What He did was such a harder thing than what I did yesterday... He knew Jesus would be hurt. He knew He would die.

We were orphans, but God went through horrible things for us, because He loved us too much to let us live a Fatherless life. This is the currency of God's love for us.

The Victory Hotel in Guangzhou is amazing. We found out about it through a friend who has adopted before. You can get a suite here for the price of a room at the White Swan, and there is filtered water in each room. There is also free internet. These are huge benefits when you are living in China.

Also, we got the only non-smoking Japanese suite in the hotel. (A friend told us about that, too.) That is crazy, because this is usually the first room to go. The guides couldn't believe it was open, but they asked anyway. We have the first soft bed we've had the whole time, and it is incredible. Two rooms, two bathrooms, and space for Moses to play.

Moses is a hoot. He is the most masculine Chinese kid I've seen EVER. Everywhere we go, people say, "He's all boy, isn't he?" He has a scar on his elbow with stitches marks, and I have a feeling that won't be his last. He adores JD and Bobby, and is soaking up having some men in his life. (JD is teaching him how to do pushups right now.) He is just rugged. It's hilarious. I know we joked about the world's first Chinese football player, but I think he could seriously do it. I can already tell it's going to break his heart when YoYo goes to college. They have a really special connection.

I LOVE this city. I think it was a British colony at one time, and it's gorgeous. I've always wanted to live in a former British colony, so this is my chance. I love the way the art and culture blend to make everything exotic but familiar. I'll try to take some photos to upload later. There are hearty wicker chairs on front porticos, and massive colonial buildings. Landscaping everywhere. Outside and inside blend in the architecture. It's tropical hot and breezy. If we have to spend a week waiting somewhere, I'm so thankful it's here. I feel totally spoiled. Also, we get to meet our friend from Singapore tomorrow, and we are PUMPED about that.

Better run. Moses needs attention. Thanks so much for your prayers.

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About This Blog

Welcome to our family’s adoption journey. As you read, you will see us stumble and take wrong paths. You will see our hopes surge and fall. You will see the gaps in our humanity, and how our God realigns us to His purposes over and again. We think the messiness of this process is important. Sometimes walking with God isn’t a neat, linear package that can be summarized in bullet points. More often, life ebbs and flows around our plans, while God works His sovereign wonders from it all. We are learning so much through this journey. And we are super excited about our new son. If you’d like to join us, we’d love to have you along for the ride.

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