adoption is too hard (part 1)


I'd like to spend some time over the next few days thinking through some common reasons why families don't pursue adoption. Today's reasons are practical barriers, and they are the ones I hear mentioned most often when the topic arises. There are spiritual and emotional barriers as well, but I'll write about those later this week.

1.) adoption is too expensive
2.) adoption takes too long

ADOPTION IS TOO EXPENSIVE:

I wasn't a fan of the new Health Care Bill, but one good thing is that no matter how much money you make annually, there is now a $13,000 tax refund for adoptions. You can find it in the very last section of the bill. Click here to read a blog post about this.

Our family also got a matching grant from a wonderful organization called Life Song. Click here to see Life Song's website.. Not only did they match tax-deductible donations up to $4,000, but various companies will also match (or half-match) donations given to Life Song since they are a 501C3 and members of ECFA.

Show Hope also gave us a significant grant. This organization was started by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife. Click here to see Show Hope's website. I'm a big fan of the shirts they are selling right now, because profits go toward other adoptive families.

Abba Fund offers a 0% interest adoption loan, which can help families with cash flow until the adoption tax credit kicks in. They have offered to help us, too. Click here to read about Abba Fund.

Many secular employers offer adoption grants for their employees. And many ministries like Campus Crusade and Young Life help their employees adopt through corporate adoption grants. Some cover $10,000-$15,000 of expenses.

One option we haven’t tapped into, but we would like to start to help other families is Both Hands. They offer programs that help with the needs of local widows while providing grants for orphaned kids. Click here to read about Both Hands. I wish every church in America would start one of these programs.

Because our process moved so fast, finances have been hard to juggle. But one advantage to that struggle is getting the chance to learn about all of these great organizations. Hopefully through our story, other families will see how God can provide for adoption despite a difficult financial situation, and they will gain courage. OR, if your family isn't adopting, maybe you can contribute to one of these great organizations or start a Both Hands chapter in your area to help others who are.

ADOPTION TAKES TOO LONG:

What you've heard is true. It’s super hard (for many reasons) to adopt a white, healthy, American infant - if that is your dream. Birth moms change their minds often, and open adoptions are dependent upon someone choosing you, etc. All of that can take years of heart wrenching ups and downs. (This is SO sad, considering how many children are aborted every year.)

However, millions of ethnic and minority babies are waiting for homes right now. Lots of toddlers and older kids need families as well. And tons of special needs kids (some with very minor needs) are waiting. We are still new to the adoption world, however, from what we have seen, some of the special needs children have actually received extra human touch and nurturing because of their physical limitations. So, although these kids might have an extra scar here or there, they might not have the same level of emotional damage as a child who has been left in a bed his/her whole life. That's not a fixed rule, of course. It's just an observation from my very limited viewpoint.

We have been shocked that our entire process (submitting our application to travel date) took only about a year! Of course we prayed for ten years first, but I'm talking about the paperwork. Even though that feels like forever, it has really been pretty fast! However, our preference was special needs, Asian, toddler all along. We've already had two babies, so I didn't have that itch. And we wanted a child that might have a hard time finding a family otherwise.

Another friend of mine just turned in her paperwork a few weeks ago, and they received their referral last week. So, sometimes this whole process can move lightning fast.

Anonymous –   – (June 22, 2010 at 6:47 AM)  

Wow, thanks for your post Rebecca! Your words are so encouraging and I pray that through this post others will see that God will make a way when it is His will.

It's been a joy to partner with you. God bless,
Leah & the Lifesong staff

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About This Blog

Welcome to our family’s adoption journey. As you read, you will see us stumble and take wrong paths. You will see our hopes surge and fall. You will see the gaps in our humanity, and how our God realigns us to His purposes over and again. We think the messiness of this process is important. Sometimes walking with God isn’t a neat, linear package that can be summarized in bullet points. More often, life ebbs and flows around our plans, while God works His sovereign wonders from it all. We are learning so much through this journey. And we are super excited about our new son. If you’d like to join us, we’d love to have you along for the ride.

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