The Question I Never Expected

"Why would you want a child who doesn't look like you?"

Maybe I am naive because I was born after integration. I just didn't realize educated people still wrestled with this stuff.

Growing up, I had Indian, Kenyan, German, French, Jewish, Japanese, and Hispanic friends... and although that was interesting... it just wasn't that big of a deal. Asian exchange students and teachers lived in our home. Again, no big deal.

As a portrait artist, I always thought it was beautiful that different people had such different skin coloring and bone structure. What a creative God we serve! And, as a lover of story, I liked the different cultural nuances. Learning about unusual foods, and traditions, and patterns of life was fascinating!

Sure, I love America. But that doesn't mean I can't love certain things about other cultures as well. There's a huge difference between accepting secular globalization and worshipfully appreciating the unique "imago Dei" reflected throughout the spectrum of humanity.

So, I've been naive. I just ran into the adoption process assuming that the world felt like I did: "How COOL! We don't look the same! I get to discover a whole new sort of beauty now by watching you grow! Won't this be fun?"


"Why would you want a child who doesn't look like you?"

OK, I'm tempted. Next time I want to hand them a mirror, smile, and say, "I'll explain that if you'll tell me why you WOULD want a child who DOES look like you?"

Sigh. No, I won't.

You know, despite the shock and frustration, I'm thankful that God is letting me experience this question now. I can tell that I need to develop a sense of humor about this and toughen up in a few places. It wouldn't be good to raise a child to respond in anger every time this happens. I need to see these situations as opportunities... opportunities to show our world that God's beauty, joy, and grace transcend race... and that our Savior truly loves all the children of the world.

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About This Blog

Welcome to our family’s adoption journey. As you read, you will see us stumble and take wrong paths. You will see our hopes surge and fall. You will see the gaps in our humanity, and how our God realigns us to His purposes over and again. We think the messiness of this process is important. Sometimes walking with God isn’t a neat, linear package that can be summarized in bullet points. More often, life ebbs and flows around our plans, while God works His sovereign wonders from it all. We are learning so much through this journey. And we are super excited about our new son. If you’d like to join us, we’d love to have you along for the ride.

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