The Checklist

Well, I checked some bubbles. But I think we’re going to have to redo it.

Part of the special needs adoption process involves a long checklist with different physical and mental issues. Prospective parents must read through that list and decide yes, no, or maybe.

How do you look at a page full of special needs and decide which conditions you would accept in your child? There’s a huge part of me that wants to just check, “YES,” on all of them, even though some of them frighten me.

I’m fairly comfortable with ASD or VSD, because our birth daughter had an ASD. And I’m comfortable with club foot, because my husband had one. I’m comfortable with cleft lip and palate, because my niece had that.” I also have a dear friend who has a missing finger, another with spina bifida, and on... and on... and on...

What it comes down to is, I COULD love any child on that checklist.

After agonizing for quite a while, I read something online that was helpful. It said to think about which special needs your family could care for best. And it hit me that if we signed up for a child with extreme, long-term needs, our attempts at “love” might prevent someone with better resources from caring for her.

So, I’ll have to think some more. And pray. And ask God which needs we can meet in light of our boundaries. Please pray that we’ll have wisdom there.