meeting people

The kids had orientation at school last night. JD and Clara really wanted to take Moses so they could introduce him to their friends.

It was pretty crazy. Moses was tired because he’s still recuperating from jet lag, and he was also overwhelmed with all of the excitement. So many people have been praying for him, it was beautiful to see all the rush to meet him. I so wish he had the capacity to understand the love behind the joyful swarm of faces that were so new to him. But he’s only been on the ground a few days here, and I think he just wasn’t sure what to do with it all.

He didn’t understand the language, the body mannerisms, or the hustle and bustle of attention all focused on him. This is a child who has normally had to share one adult's attention with a ton of other kids, so having a whole bunch of adults interested him at once is very new. He’s never had that experience of being taken places and “fussed over” by doting grandparents, friends, etc.

He wasn’t really “bad”, he was just overwhelmed. He was arching his back, avoiding eye contact, wiggling, and generally not sure what to do with himself. I finally took him out to the playground to just give him some room. Then, some people who wanted to meet him came out there. That was a MUCH better dynamic than asking a tired three-year-old to be quiet in a crowded hallway.

SOOOO, if I had last night to do over again (for those of you who are going to face similar situations soon) I would have started out by finding a safe place like the playground where Moses could just play while people met him.

Now, I need to think through how to apply all this on Sunday morning. I know a lot of folks will be eager to see him then, too...

Hmmm...

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still processing...

One of the benefits I'm finding to East to West travel is that you naturally wake up early. Bobby had a 6:00 meeting this morning, so after he left I found some quiet time to read my Bible, pray, and just think.

Outside my window, tree frogs, crickets, and birds are the loudest sounds I hear. Morning light is shifting through greens like a girl trying on dresses. Faintly, I smell rain, wet earth, and grass. I feel calmed, pulled back into a seasonal rhythm that centers and restores. There's a sensory mercy in this natural beauty. A grace of God. A hymn written by my Creator. Healing, restful, instructive. A masterpiece tucked full with parables, lessons, reminders. I took this all for granted before our trip... that I wake each morning in a classroom... in a sanctuary.

Amid the luxury of this Created world, flashbacks of crowded, urban Asia cause a pain in my chest. It hurts to remember mile after mile after mile of density. Concrete. Pollution. Crowds. Choking man-made everything. Man-made, brown, thick air. Man-made places for my feet to walk. Man-made mountain buildings. Man-made subway caves. The smell and heat and taste of human effort suffocating almost every reminder of Divinity. A caged, grey world, for millions and millions of people -- the scope of their everything from birth to death.

I've heard so many criticisms about the oppression and suffering in China. But the one I felt most intensely - the one I still can't shake - is its urban density.

My morning grace is full of shifting greens. Twelve hours away, all greys shift to black. It makes me grateful. It makes me sad. It makes my hands feel very small.

-from Wendell Berry's _A Timbered Choir_

Here where the world is being made,

No human hand required,

A man may come, somewhat afraid

Always, and somewhat tired,

For he comes ignorant and alone

From work and worry of

A human place, in soul and bone

The ache of human love.

He may come and be still, not go

Toward any chosen aim

Or stay for what he thinks is so.

Setting aside his claim

On all things fallen in his plight,

his mind may move with the leaves,

Wind-shaken, in and out of light,

And live as the light lives,

And live as the Creation sings

In covert, two clear notes,

And waits; then two clear answerings

Come from more distant throats--

May live a while with light, shaking

In high leaves, or delayed

In halts of song, submit to making,

The shape of what is made.

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Splash Park.

'Not much time to write today, but I wanted to share some photos of our first day at the splash park. Moses was scared at first, but then he LOVED it. It was so cool watching him play in the water and sun.

Making slow progress on fear of dogs. He watched them out the windows for maybe an hour total. Touched Betsy (the golden) once. The mini-schnauzer still freaks him out. That makes life complicated temporarily, but we're trying to give him time to adjust.

JD made the Duplo bass. Very cool. Kudos to him on that. Best big brother on the planet.

Finished off the afternoon with a soft serve from Mc Donald's. My house is a wreck. We're all tired. But it was a great day.

Tonight at dinner, JD asked, "Is getting a new kid always this much fun? I feel so proud of my little brother!" Clara agreed. We were prepared for all sorts of emotional trauma and a long healing period. I almost feel guilty for how much pure joy there is. It's not at all like I thought it would be. Sheer, unadulterated FUN. We thought he needed us, but now we are seeing how much the four of us needed him.

P.S. Moses ate his first fresh tomato off the vine today. LOVED it.

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Cotillion.

JD and Clara get the Hero Awards for today. They played with Moses while I took a four hour nap. The last thing I saw before falling asleep was JD rubbing Moses' back after he woke up from a bad dream. Even though it's wonderful watching Moses enjoying a new home, it's just as wonderful watching the affect he's having on JD and Clara.

I'd heard from other parents that adoption had been good for their older birth kids, raising compassion, responsibility, and selflesness during a season of life that's often myopic. I'm getting to watch that happen now, and it's beautiful. This morning, I heard them sitting in the floor playing cars with their new brother. There sat a ten-year-old and a thirteen-year-old really getting into, "Vroooom, vroom, vrooooom!" If you've seen Toy Story 3, it was that scene at the end with Andy and Bonnie. In my living room! Amazing.

Tonight at dinner, we gave Moses his first etiquette lesson. We just feel like it's very important for a young man to know how to behave in delicate social dining situations. (Ahem.) Photo is attached.

If you know JD, you've probably already seen him do this with an empty donut box. I have no idea how his face stretches to such extremes, but it's hilarious. The rest of us have tried, but we aren't quite as good. (Our underground family Christmas card from two years ago shows the best we could do.) Anyway, we laughed a ton at dinner tonight. I wonder if cotillion offers family discounts?

Our entertainment for the evening is watching Bob the Builder in Chinese. I'm SO glad we bought that big set of DVD's for $10. I remember how it felt to be totally surrounded with a language you don't understand, and how good it felt to find an English movie on TV. Maybe this will be a little respite for him.

Tomorrow I'm going to have to cook some rice, I think. Moses seems just about DONE with sandwiches and bread. He was polite about eating whatever we gave him at first, but I can tell he's getting a little weary of the "weird food" here. I'm so thankful the trip showed me how that felt, or I wouldn't have understood it.

OK, better run... Bec

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Toddler Jet Lag

One hour of sleep last night. Whew. Moses didn’t sleep at all, as far as I could tell. He never cried, never fussed, but he couldn’t fall asleep.

About 5:00 I started Googling and found some other adoptive parents whose kids hit jet lag insomnia on the second night home. That made me feel a little better. Maybe it’s just something we need to get over with as soon as possible.

Today has been a good one so far, considering how tired we are. I overheard JD and Clara talking about how Moses picks his toys up after he finishes playing with them. What a novel concept! Some people pick up their stuff when they are done with it! (Atta boy, Moses. You show ‘em.)

Last night I had the chance to sift through most of about 400 photos that were sent home with us from the orphanage. I’m amazed that we are able to see this much of what his life was like before we met. I started dividing the pics into two categories pretty quickly: “Scratches”: shots where he has a scrape, bump, or bruise on his face somewhere (Mr. Testosterone); and “Hugs”: shots where he’s hugging somebody. (Rugged with a gentle side.) You can see a few of those in the video I’m going to try to post with this update.

This afternoon, Moses discovered an ice pack. He didn’t really like it sitting on the bump on his head, but he loved what happens when you put it up people’s shirts. What a STINKER! For about two hours he chased us all around the house, trying to slip it down the back of our necks, giggling like crazy.

We found out that he doesn’t seem to like milk or cheese. I guess they didn’t have a lot of those in the orphanage. We are reintroducing milk throughout the day, and he’s warming up a little. But he seems to feel like it’s too thick or something. I’m thinking about trying some Carnation instant breakfast, because I’ve heard other adoptive parents say it’s a lifesaver.

We took our first walk in the yard yesterday. It was a dream come true for me, because feel like being outside is so important for kids. So few children these days get to spend a lot of time outdoors. I just don't know how modern day boys are supposed to get in touch with the spark of “essential man” burning inside them, cramped up inside so much.

I grew up in a home where strong women were ideal, so I’m not advocating a delicate, lacy girlhood. I like feisty girls who can tackle the world. However, i feel like many boys are particularly affected by the "femininity" of urbanization. The school system can be feminized (i.e.: sit down and be quiet to learn), our neighborhoods are often feminized (i.e. Rows of cute, fashionable houses), many of our extra-curricular activities and TV shows are feminized. Where is there room for a dangerous, boisterous, rugged, wild, pure little heart? We stifle those urges and call them bad, when often they are just too much work for our busy lives.

I wonder what would happen if every boy had enough wilderness to explore some of the man God made him to be? What would happen if we made room for dirt, rocks, bugs, boxes of spare parts, mechanical inventions, and long days spent hacking sticks with homemade weapons? I'm a big nature lover, so maybe my thoughts on this are skewed. But I wonder if boyhood+nature would heal an awful lot of the hurts I see walking the mall on weekends.

Seeing Moses’ eyes, looking into the woods... watching his feet learning to run on grass... I can see that same spark asking the same questions. "Hey, what’s that jungle out there? It looks dangerous. It looks cool. Can I conquer it?" Beautiful. Welcome home, urban baby. I can’t wait for you to soak up wilderness like water in the desert.

New topic. Moses discovered the phone a few days ago, and he LOVES it. Every time it rings, he wants to talk to whoever is calling. So, if anyone wants to call and listen to long periods of awkard silence, the chewing of Cheerios, and toddler Chinese babble, email and we’ll set up a time to connect. Until then, the telemarketers will receive no mercy. Moohoohaahaahaa.

Thanks to everyone who is signing up to bring meals! What an incredible gift! Normally I would have refused the offer, but it was made last night around midnight, and I was too tired and weak to refuse. I feel sort of bad receiving food when I’m not recovering from physical birth, but jet lag feels surprisingly close. :) So, thanks again. Love to all, Bec.



Song "Little Boy Heart Alive" by Andrew Peterson. My favorite modern songwriter.

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